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Women’s Sex Drive After 40 — Yes, It’s Still Very Much a Thing

Let’s bust a myth real quick: hitting your 40s doesn’t mean your sex drive disappears. In fact, for a lot of women, it’s the decade where things start getting really interesting.

Hormonal shifts, life changes, and a new perspective can shake things up — but they can also awaken a deeper sense of curiosity, self-love, and yes, libido.

So, what’s actually happening?

During perimenopause (which can start in your 40s), estrogen and progesterone start to fluctuate. This can lead to irregular periods, mood swings, and yes — changes in your sex drive. But that doesn’t mean you’re broken.

In fact, many women report feeling a different kind of desire. One that’s less about the highs and more about the connection. More intentional. More embodied. More about you.

But if the issue is that your sex life feels boring or stale, it’s time to mix things up. “The best thing is to add variety into your sexual experience,” says Stripes Advisory Board Member Cindy Meston, Ph.D, professor of clinical psychology and Director of the Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of Texas at Austin. “It can be as simple as having sex in a different location, trying a different sexual position, giving each other a massage before sex, incorporating a sex toy into foreplay, watching a sexy movie together, or reading an erotic story out loud to each other before sex.”

The confidence curve

By 40, you know yourself better. You’ve likely stopped apologizing for your desires. You might be done with partners who don’t get it — or ready to invest deeper in the ones who do. And that shift is gold.

Dr. Meston reminds us: “When women stop monitoring their bodies and start inhabiting them, desire isn’t lost. It’s unleashed.”

How to navigate the shifts and improve your sex drive after 40

Sure, you might feel a little off your game some days. But there are tools — and a whole lot of pleasure — to be had. Start by incorporating these tips every day:

Track your cycle to understand libido patterns
Prioritize rest and stress reduction (hello, cortisol)
Use a play oil like Oh My Glide Intimate Play Oil to stay comfortable
Talk to your doctor about hormone levels
Explore self-pleasure (it’s not just fun — it’s functional)

It’s not a decline, it’s a redesign

Forget the idea that women’s sex drive drops off a cliff at 40. It evolves. And when you meet it where it is — with curiosity, compassion, and maybe a good vibrator — it can become better than ever.

Because sex in your 40s isn’t about who’s watching. It’s about what you feel. And if you ask us? That’s when it starts getting really good.