Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to celebrate intimacy, connection, and pleasure. But if you’re navigating perimenopause or menopause, feeling confident and comfortable in your body can sometimes be a challenge. Whether you're dealing with hormonal shifts, physical changes, or just the pressure of making the night special, there are plenty of ways to ensure you feel sexy, empowered, and fully present. These 10 tips will help set the mood, boost your confidence, and make intimacy as pleasurable as possible this Valentine’s Day.
1. Set the Tone with Open Communication
Confidence starts with feeling safe and understood. Talk with your partner about how you want to make Valentine’s Day special, any concerns you may have, and how you’d like to experience intimacy together. If menopause has changed your body’s responses, let them know what feels good now. A little honesty goes a long way in building intimacy and avoiding disappointment.
2. Create an Atmosphere of Romance
A sensual environment can help set the stage for connection. Dim the lights, play your favorite music, and use candles or essential oils to create a calming vibe. When you feel relaxed, arousal comes more naturally. Remember, good sex isn’t just about the sex act itself. "It starts at the beginning of the day with a hug, a kiss, a little surprise note tucked into a jacket pocket,” says Stripes Advisory Board Member Cindy Meston, Ph.D, professor of clinical psychology and Director of the Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of Texas at Austin. “It’s important to set the mood for love and intimacy the whole day – not just a few hours before sex." Pay compliments, show appreciation, and minimize criticism to enhance intimacy.
3. Focus on Foreplay
Great sex isn’t just about the main event. Taking time for extended foreplay—whether that’s a sensual massage, kissing, or using toys—can enhance anticipation and pleasure. This is especially important if menopause has affected your natural lubrication or desire levels. "Foreplay starts well before the sex act begins," says Meston.
4. Wear Something That Makes You Feel Sexy
Confidence often starts with what you wear. Whether it’s lingerie, a silky robe, or even just a favorite scent, choose something that makes you feel attractive and powerful. Your comfort is key—feeling good in your skin is the real goal
5. Take Your Time
There’s no rush. Slow down and savor the experience. Being mindful and present in the moment allows for deeper connection and helps ease any anxiety you might feel about performance or body image.
6. Engage in Self-Care Beforehand
A little self-care can go a long way. Whether it’s a warm bath, a body scrub, or a gentle yoga session, taking time for yourself before intimacy can help you feel more relaxed, refreshed, and ready to connect.
7. Focus on What You Love About Your Body
Instead of dwelling on perceived flaws, shift your focus to what you love about yourself. Maybe it’s your soft skin, your strong legs, or the way your partner looks at you. Confidence is incredibly sexy, and embracing your unique beauty will enhance your experience.
8. Use a High-Quality Play oil
Menopause can sometimes bring vaginal dryness, but that shouldn’t stand in the way of pleasure. A high-quality, body-safe play oil can make all the difference. Look for one that’s designed for comfort and long-lasting moisture, like Stripes Oh My Glide Intimate Play Oil, to ensure a smooth, pleasurable experience.
9. Try Something New
If you’re feeling adventurous, consider introducing something new into your routine—whether that’s a different position, a sensual game, or a new toy. "Couples—especially those who have been together for a long time—tend to set sex patterns that have worked for them in the past and after a while sex becomes very predictable and comfortable,” explains Meston.” There’s nothing wrong with that, but if you want to make Valentine’s Day sex special then try something a little different." This could be trying a different location, incorporating a sex toy, or reading an erotic story aloud together. Variety increases excitement and anticipation, boosting arousal for both partners.
10. Remember: Confidence is the Sexiest Thing
At the end of the day, the most attractive thing you can bring into the bedroom is confidence. Let go of pressure, focus on pleasure, and remind yourself that you are desirable exactly as you are. Your partner is there to enjoy this experience with you, so relax and embrace the moment. "Laughing together before sex is a huge turn-on,” says Meston. “Keep your conversations before sex light and happy—no heavy debates, no lists of things to do, no solving your relationship problems. Instead, go to a comedy show, watch a funny movie, tease, laugh, giggle, and be light-hearted." This kind of positivity facilitates sexual desire and arousal from both a psychological and physiological perspective.
By setting the right tone, embracing self-care, and using the right products, you can ensure that this Valentine’s Day is filled with passion, connection, and confidence. Cheers to a night of unforgettable intimacy.
